Yeah Im still kinda working on the whole friend deal not going so great.
My grades are simply put sliping just as mush as everthing else in my life. So Im stuck at home until I get them (assinments) done. Friday is the deadline for all my work so Ill be busy all week through my birthday.Yay...right?Wrong.Im afraid this year will be an ever bigger let down than last year. Last year I didnt do anything for it and I didnt get much more than $20 from anyone either.Six mothes ago I was excited you know I thought I could finaly have a party or even a get together with my friends, the people I cared about, and I mean I never know what I what for my birthday.I think I worry so much about other people that when Im offered a token of apreciation I dont know what to ask for.The truth is I think all I ever want are some real friends.Back in the fifth grade I invited my whole class to a party at the arcade down at CrossRoads.No one showed. Guess that goes to show you I wasnt the "guy" I am today huh?Sigh, People ask me why I never talk about my past, I dont mind if you asked but the past is the past I dont talk about it because things happen that almost require me to forget them to survive. Like a represed memorey. Im almost out of this one...but Im not quite there yet theres still the dead part of me still holding on to whats left and I think its my heart.